


A Snaby Photoshoot, or A Snotoshoot

by LTRisBACK



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Cryptids, Other, baby photos, cuteness, photoshoot, snaby photos, the snabies just wanted pictures like Cordial's, wiggleverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25971880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LTRisBACK/pseuds/LTRisBACK
Summary: The Snabies saw Cordial's photos on instagram and wanted photos of their own, so their fathers decide to take them to a profession baby photographer.ORIt was an ordinary day, really, it was...
Relationships: Aziraphale & Snabies, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Snabies
Comments: 50
Kudos: 116
Collections: Wiggleverse





	A Snaby Photoshoot, or A Snotoshoot

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this Tumblr post: https://zenosanalytic.tumblr.com/post/170701039063/zooophagous-cordial-is-so-photogenic and as always the AceOmens discord. Thank you to everyone there who has helped inspire my madness.

It had been an ordinary day, really, Paul thought. Four screaming babies, eight anxious and demanding parents and many excellent photos later it was still an ordinary, if well-booked, day, right up until two gentlemen entered. Well, one gentleman and one middle aged goth entered. 

They each glanced around, surveying the room from opposite directions, then looked at each other and nodded, some kind of accord having been reached. Paul was suddenly certain that this was not, in fact, his next booking, and he moved to the book to check.

Mrs and Mrs Johnson, the line read. Well, these were most definitely not his clients then, and he could say that with complete safety as he had photographed for the Johnsons before, a lovely couple of very petite ladies who he had been looking forward to working with again. 

As the two men stepped further into the studio, Paul drew himself up and prepared to offer them an appointment, only to have the phone in his pocket nearly give him a heart attack as it started to vibrate. Pulling it out and glancing at the screen he recognised the number as one he’d just been looking at in the book, that of the slightly more diminutive Mrs Johnson.

Paul would not dream of answering his phone while another customer stood in front of him unserved except that it was his next appointment. He glanced from the men to the phone, and the taller, skinnier goth-type gestured for him to take it. With a grateful glance he swiped the screen and raised the phone to his ear.

“Paul?” Mrs Johnson, who clearly made a point of learning and using people’s names, didn’t really give him a chance to get a word in. “I’m really sorry to do this, I hate to cancel on people last minute, but Imogen just locked the keys in the car and the locksmith won’t be able to get here for at least an hour…” 

Paul greatly appreciated that they had at least called, and he assured Mrs Johnson that rescheduling would not be a problem, even as he tried not to laugh at her description of the tantruming two-year-old that had culminated in the keys finding themselves on the wrong side of a locked door. Turning back to the two men he pasted on his best customer service smile and stepped forward, extending a hand to shake. 

“Welcome to my studio, I’m Paul, how can I help you?” 

“Well, we were hoping to arrange a photoshoot for our children,” the blonde, who looked rather like a college professor, explained. 

“Well, I did just have a cancellation, so the next ninety minutes are free, but unless they’re here now that won’t really…”

“Oh, they’re here,” drawled the redhead, and Paul turned to look at him to find snakes seemingly draped all over him, black scales with red bellies and golden eyes. One was wrapped around his neck, another had seemingly made its way to the top of his head and was standing up from behind his hair, tongue flicking in and out as it turned one way then another. There were two peering out the top of a pocket, one barely visible while the other was craning so far forward it looked like it was about to fall to the floor of the studio. On closer inspection he realised that that one actually had blue eyes, a particularly striking colour. Paul thought that was all of them, but when he turned to look at the blond man there was one more, a white snake with the same blue eyes was curling around and around his fingers. 

Paul was definitely startled, and very glad that he’d never been particularly afraid of snakes, even before he decided to keep one for a pet. Still, this was definitely not how these things normally went. 

“Ummm, well, okay,” he decided to just roll with it. If these two men called their snakes their children, well, lots of people did that with their pets, right? As long as they did all of the snake handling, he could handle this. “Sure, let’s do this. Did you have any particular backgrounds you wanted to use?” 

“Do you have any Pride flags? They really want to do some photos on pride flags. We brought our own in case you didn’t, but if you already have backdrops set up…”

“I have a rainbow pride flag, but if you want one of the others we’ll need to use yours, there hasn’t been enough demand for them. I have several ways we can easily display them.” He smiled and turned to lead the way back into the studio proper. 

Paul could not believe how well the little snakes behaved. They were obviously curious about things, and their ‘parents’ were giving explanations about everything they peered or flicked their tongues at, going so far as to hold them closer and at different angles. They actually sounded like they were having a conversation, responding to questions and comments. They even seemed to be responding to questions from multiple snakes around a single conversation. It was one of the oddest interactions Paul had ever seen, and he thought that it would stay that way, right up to the point where they started organising photos. 

Then it got even stranger. The snakes did precisely what the two men told them. They moved, posed, twined around each other and even picked up props in their mouths. Paul was screaming inside his own head as he repeatedly snapped the shutter, because all of this was impossible. The snakes couldn’t actually understand their ‘fathers’, surely? Snakes couldn’t even hear, he knew that. Therefore, it made no sense that he was seeing snakes respond to verbal directions. Still, it was happening. 

When the red-headed goth got two of the little snakes to wind around a staff like a caduceus and hold tiny pride flags (one ace, one non-binary) in their mouths, something in Paul broke. This was obviously happening, and there was nothing he could do about it. He decided to just accept it and take the best photos he could, saving the breakdown for later. 

Once the photoshoot was finally done, the two men ordered an inordinate number of high quality prints and paid an absolute exorbitant amount above and beyond what he had requested, saying that he had been very patient with their ‘little quirks’ and besides it wasn’t as though they had actually had a booking. They left with nary a backward glance, except from one little blue-eyed black snake who peered over the professorial-type’s shoulder and, he was absolutely certain, WINKED at him. He knew, just like he knew snakes couldn’t hear, that snakes didn’t have eyelids but he could not deny what he had seen. 

Yes, thinking back on it, it had been a very ordinary day indeed. Right up until two aliens decided to bring their undisguised children for a photoshoot.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Caduceus (Snaby Photoshoot)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372398) by [moonymistress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonymistress/pseuds/moonymistress)




End file.
